“How Can I Emotionally Prepare For A Husband I Don’t Have Yet?”

I’m glad you asked.

We often hear the phrase “Prepare for what you prayed for”.  And many of us are consistently hitting the Lord up like, “You got anymore of them good men left?”

yallgot

And, of course, He does. But are you sure you’re ready for that?

You’ve prayed and prayed for God to send you the right man but, have you emotionally  prepared for it? Are you hoping to have a successful relationship with this man? If so, then preparation is key. So how do you prepare for a man you don’t have yet?

You emotionally prepare for your future husband by learning more about yourself. By paying attention to your behaviors. Pay close attention to those moments where your emotions are going haywire and after a while you step back and realize “okay, I’m trippin”. Pay attention to which situations produce those moments. For example, I get really, really hangry. Like pissed-off, stay-out-of-my-face-until-I-stuff-my-face-or-I-will-snap hangry. So when I’m hungry and the sound of someone just breathing next to me makes me want to start a fire, I know that it’s safe to say “yeah, I’m trippin, their breathing is definitely not the problem”.

It’s crucial that you understand yourself and the way you function. If you can do that, then you can recognize situations where you have the potential to trip and start pointless conflicts with your future husband. You need to be able to recognize those, “It’s not him, it’s me” situations before you start pointing your finger.

Start paying attention to what makes you tick and try to understand why. If you have trust issues, work on those now. If you struggle with insecurities, work on those now. Don’t let those things follow you into what God has for you. If you do, they will sabotage it all.

Pay attention to moments where you behave selfishly and figure out how you could’ve reacted more selflessly then put that thinking to work next time. Pay attention to how you behave when you’re overwhelmed or frustrated and what helps you in those moments. For me, being overwhelmed or frustrated while in the presence of others is usually not a good idea. I’ve learned that I shut down and go inside myself so that I can try to come up with a way to explain what I’m dealing with. Growing up, that always made my mom mad because she thought that I was ignoring her or that I was blaming her. So I’ve come to the conclusion that just ten to fifteen minutes alone can refresh my mind/emotions and give me time to prepare to come back and discuss whatever needs to be discussed. Now I know that when I’m in a relationship, when something happens between us and I get frustrated or overwhelmed, I need to tell my partner up front, “I’m not going to be able to effectively communicate what I’m feeling with you right now. I need just ten minutes alone to work through this in my head and then we can come back to this conversation. But this is not me walking away or pushing you away.” That way my partner understands that I’m not trying to ignore him or place blame or guilt–I’ll be able to give him insight on my behavior because have insight on my behavior.

Seek Guidance from God and pay attention to how He answers you. Pay attention to what He shows you about yourself through different situations and people.

I also recommend reading the books “The Five Love Languages” and “Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married”, both written by Gary Chapman. There are also articles everywhere online about loving a man of God, loving a good man, nurturing a man, etc., etc.. I suggest doing all the research you can. Of course, your husband will be his own person with his own personality and his own love language, but it’s still crucial that you learn the fundamentals of being a good wife and a having a good marriage.

Preparation is KEY. Don’t attempt to walk blindly into the good thing that God is going to set up for you, or you may quickly turn that good thing into a bad thing.

Advertisements

5 thoughts on ““How Can I Emotionally Prepare For A Husband I Don’t Have Yet?”

  1. Karen says:

    Wow. Just wow. God really is good. I’ve been doing all the things you’ve mentioned. I’ve been aware of my behaviors, I’ve paid for my future husband, I’ve read countless articles and watched countless videos about relationships and marriage, specifically Christian ones. But lately, I have been confronted with the idea that I may never get married. I’ve been told many times that I shouldn’t focus too much on relationships and that I should find contentment and joy in God. Although I know those things are true, I was a little hurt. And then yesterday while praying I asked God “why did you let me do all of this if I might not even get married? If it doesn’t happen then all of this will go to waste. All this time I spent preparing was for nothing. ” I poured myself and all of my questions out to God and eventually I came to the point where I finally submitted and said “not my will God, but Yours be done in my life. ” I still didn’t know whether to continue praying and preparing for my future husband, but I was counting on God to lead and guide me. And then, a few minutes later, this blog post popped into my email, and I just knew it was none other than God answering my prayers. I felt him saying “well what if it does happen? Are you just going to give up now or are you going to trust me? Even if it doesn’t happen, your diligence and faithfulness will be honoring to Me and you will be rewarded for it, so what is there to lose?” I just felt so much peace knowing that God heard and answered my prayer. Doing these things will not only make me a better wife one day but also a better person Jn general. So instead of wondering and trying to figure my future out, I should prepare and allow God to mold me into the person He wants me to be so that He can use me in whatever way He sees fit. Thank you for doing your part and posting this on the blog Camry. I’m learning so much from you and your obedience has allowed God to speak to me through you. Keep on keeping on sister in Christ! (btw sorry for such a long comment lol I felt like I needed to share this) God bless!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. returnofthegodlywoman says:

    Karen, I’m so happy that you found this post! I know how frustrating it can be to wait but I pray that you will continue in His strength, and continue to be sensitive to His will for you life, whatever it may be! ❤

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s