I’m glad you asked.
We often hear the phrase “Prepare for what you prayed for”. And many of us are consistently hitting the Lord up like, “You got anymore of them good men left?”
And, of course, He does. But are you sure you’re ready for that?
You’ve prayed and prayed for God to send you the right man but, have you emotionally prepared for it? Are you hoping to have a successful relationship with this man? If so, then preparation is key. So how do you prepare for a man you don’t have yet?
You emotionally prepare for your future husband by learning more about yourself. By paying attention to your behaviors. Pay close attention to those moments where your emotions are going haywire and after a while you step back and realize “okay, I’m trippin”. Pay attention to which situations produce those moments. For example, I get really, really hangry. Like pissed-off, stay-out-of-my-face-until-I-stuff-my-face-or-I-will-snap hangry. So when I’m hungry and the sound of someone just breathing next to me makes me want to start a fire, I know that it’s safe to say “yeah, I’m trippin, their breathing is definitely not the problem”.
It’s crucial that you understand yourself and the way you function. If you can do that, then you can recognize situations where you have the potential to trip and start pointless conflicts with your future husband. You need to be able to recognize those, “It’s not him, it’s me” situations before you start pointing your finger.
Start paying attention to what makes you tick and try to understand why. If you have trust issues, work on those now. If you struggle with insecurities, work on those now. Don’t let those things follow you into what God has for you. If you do, they will sabotage it all.
Pay attention to moments where you behave selfishly and figure out how you could’ve reacted more selflessly then put that thinking to work next time. Pay attention to how you behave when you’re overwhelmed or frustrated and what helps you in those moments. For me, being overwhelmed or frustrated while in the presence of others is usually not a good idea. I’ve learned that I shut down and go inside myself so that I can try to come up with a way to explain what I’m dealing with. Growing up, that always made my mom mad because she thought that I was ignoring her or that I was blaming her. So I’ve come to the conclusion that just ten to fifteen minutes alone can refresh my mind/emotions and give me time to prepare to come back and discuss whatever needs to be discussed. Now I know that when I’m in a relationship, when something happens between us and I get frustrated or overwhelmed, I need to tell my partner up front, “I’m not going to be able to effectively communicate what I’m feeling with you right now. I need just ten minutes alone to work through this in my head and then we can come back to this conversation. But this is not me walking away or pushing you away.” That way my partner understands that I’m not trying to ignore him or place blame or guilt–I’ll be able to give him insight on my behavior because I have insight on my behavior.
Seek Guidance from God and pay attention to how He answers you. Pay attention to what He shows you about yourself through different situations and people.
I also recommend reading the books “The Five Love Languages” and “Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married”, both written by Gary Chapman. There are also articles everywhere online about loving a man of God, loving a good man, nurturing a man, etc., etc.. I suggest doing all the research you can. Of course, your husband will be his own person with his own personality and his own love language, but it’s still crucial that you learn the fundamentals of being a good wife and a having a good marriage.
Preparation is KEY. Don’t attempt to walk blindly into the good thing that God is going to set up for you, or you may quickly turn that good thing into a bad thing.